The Congress of the United States and an actual useful critter

Image: house of representatives/lucasfilm

The 115th Congress of the United States may not have passed any meaningful legislation (apart from that whole forcing Trump to impose sanctions on Russia thing). 

But at least someone in the House of Representatives is taking a strong stand on the Star Wars universe — starting with the puffin-like porgs from The Last Jedi

Congress Edits, a bot that notes all instances of Wikipedia editing that takes place on computers using Congressional IP addresses, turned up two anonymous Star Wars-related Wikipedia edits in the last two days. 

The first edit, on Tuesday night, added this essential nugget of information to a Wikipedia article on Star Wars creatures: “porgs are dope.”   

Like most haphazard additions to Wikipedia, the porg edit was swiftly removed.

The second addition, on Wednesday afternoon, was a more in-depth edit to the Wikipedia article on lightsabers

Here’s what the anonymous Congressional computer user wanted us to know on the laser sword front: “The color of the blade has no bearing on whether or not the wielder is ideologically good or evil, nor does lightsaber blade infer the wielder’s gender.”

First of all, NERDS. Secondly, on a nerd note, that isn’t even strictly true: Sith Lords like Darth Vader (and wannabe Sith Lords like Kylo Ren) tend to wield red sabers unless they’re trying to disguise themselves. This statement is the “violence on many sides” false equivalence of the Star Wars universe. 

And thirdly, what the hell are you doing, anonymous Congress critters? You work for the people of the United States, not Lucasfilm. You may have noticed we currently have one or two problems that require a little more effort. 

Right now, it seems, the House of Representatives is providing a fictional galaxy far, far away with more oversight than the Trump administration. This needs to change, and soon. 

Even if porgs are dope. 

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